It’s an unfortunate question that a lot of couples have to awkwardly ask themselves: are you able to stay together even after a case of infidelity and unfaithfulness?
It happens way too often, and that’s why we have to be prepared to deal with it should we ever find ourselves in such a position. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that they are going to be telling you just how sorry they are. They will be telling you just how regretful they are about the whole situation.
They claim that they were being stupid and that they would never deliberately do anything that would hurt you ever again. But should you believe them? Should you trust them even after they’ve already broken that initial trust?
Okay. It’s important to try your feelings under control – no matter how difficult that might be. This is a very delicate and emotionally overwhelming kind of situation. If you’re lucky, you will have close friends and family who are mature and wise enough to guide you through the whole process. You might even seek the professional help of a therapist to aid you in getting past this difficult ordeal.
But at the end of the day, it all just really boils down to whether you believe your partner or not. If they’re really sorry about what they did to you, then perhaps they’re worth taking a chance on. But how do you know if they’re serious about being sorry? Well, here are a few signs that you can possibly pick up on.
1. YOUR PARTNER IMMEDIATELY BREAKS TIES WITH WHOEVER THEY CHEATED ON YOU WITH.
It’s only natural that if your partner cheats on you and they still want to get back together with you, they will automatically break ties with whoever they cheated on you with. They shouldn’t be interacting with that person anymore. That should be automatic.
You shouldn’t have to be requesting that of them anymore. You have given them your trust and they broke it. They betrayed you – they showed you that they can’t be trusted with that person ever again. And so if you tell them that you don’t want them to ever be interacting with that person ever again, then they should be able to honor that demand.
They should always be willing to burn whatever toxic bridges led to the two of you get to this point in the first place.
2. YOUR PARTNER SHOWS THE WILLINGNESS TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO EARN BACK YOUR TRUST.
It’s really about being able to prove one’s self again. When they cheated on you, they betrayed you. They broke the trust that you gave them. And trust isn’t something that is easily earned in the first place. And it’s definitely not something that is easily repaired once it has been broken.
So they have to really prove to you that they are still worth taking a chance on. They have to be able to prove to you that they are worth trusting again. And if they show the willingness to earn your trust after deliberately breaking it in the first place, then that’s a good sign for the both of you.
3. YOUR PARTNER ADJUSTS TO YOUR NEEDS REGARDING THE RELATIONSHIP.
Naturally, you are the victim here. You are the person who has been wronged. You are not the person who is on trial here. So you are the one who gets to make the demands.
You are the one who gets to pass judgment and you are the one who gets to decide the verdict. So if you have certain needs and expectations that need to be met before you and your partner can be okay again, your partner has to be the one who meets those needs.
And it’s always a good sign if your partner starts adjusting to your needs in the relationship. It’s their form of penance and it’s your form of retribution. They should humble themselves enough to acknowledge that they have wronged you and they have to do whatever it takes to pay for their sins.
It’s always a great sign if your partner proves to you that they have the flexibility and humility to actually meet your needs.
While these are all good signs, the ultimate decision still rests on your lap. You are the one who gets to make the choice here. You are the one who gets to choose how you’re going to be moving forward. So You are the one who gets to choose whether you forgive your partner or not.
At the end of the day, you call the shots. And you really have to own up to whatever decision you make regarding the direction of your relationship. You really have to be certain about what you want – and you have to stand strong on whatever decision you come to.